As Ms. Kennedy has pointed out, it’s hard to write when you’re fucking sad. The year has not gotten off to a great start: I’ve been having some, shall we say, medical issues, we’ve all been laid low by yet another cold the twins brought home, and I gotta say, I don’t think the marriage therapy is working. I still think the guy is okay–he’s nice and all–but I don’t think his particular methods are helping us in our situation. Because you know what? The sense I am getting is that we really need to have it out. ALL OUT. And we’re not getting to do that. Not that I think we should set up to destroy each other, but interrupting us about the nuances of some communication skill when we’re just starting to get to one of the core issues that is bothering us…it just doesn’t work. We’re going around in circles. He makes good points about how we’re communicating, but there are actual beliefs and behaviors that need to be addressed. And that’s not happening. So we remain bitter and resentful, which hardly helps our commitment to trying new communication modes. We’re too pissed off.

Some of these issues are so old, I get frightened that we’ll never work them out.

All this would be stressful enough with nothing going on, but it has made it particularly hard to focus on the website clients I secured recently. The husband is already pissed, and taking on more twin duties while I try to deal with these people has not exactly helped matters.

I don’t actually make a lot of money doing websites and computer repair. The husband has little faith I’ll be able to get a decent job once the girls are in school (indeed, he is convinced I am totally allergic to the concept of work), but my feeling is it can’t hurt to keep up with technology a bit by doing my feelance gigs, and it would probably hurt my chances if I didn’t. And I happen to enjoy doing it. It beats wiping twin bottoms…though now that I think about it sometimes it’s not that different. Whatever. It’s interesting. Oh yeah, and it’s a good tax write-off.

I suppose it has been good for the girls to see me working, too. They have come along with me on some house calls, and they have gotten to see first-hand some of the stuff I help people with. When my parents gave them a dollhouse (a twin dollhouse no less) for Christmas, they immediately set the mom doll at the little computer.

“This is where the mama goes,” one twin said.
“Yeah, she’s doing computer work!” said the other.

It was kind of heartwarming.

I may have to get a real job just to pay for all of our frigging therapy…

I guess it hasn’t been all bad, though. the Democrats took back Congress (hallelujah!). Colbert did a fantastic job on the O’Reilley Factor. Wordpress just came out with a new release, 2.1 (if you swing that way, I’m still pretty much on the fence about the whole Wordpress vs. Movable Type thing). My sister just sent me the lovely Ubuntu Hacks book for my birthday next month.

And the girls have yet to make the mom and dad dolls sleep in separate rooms.

P.S. There is a new navigation tab, can you spot it? More about that next time.

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