Let’s see if I can break out of my lazyass streak and summarize what’s been happening, shall we?

I seem to have skipped my period entirely this month. While it’s been nice to not feel sick for three or four days and put up with the usual IC flares shortly before its arrival, it obviously makes one… wonder…even though it would practically have to be a case of immaculate conception. How lovely it would be to have a ready excuse for the extra 10 pounds I’ve been carrying around. But no, not bloody likely.

The twins had their first little music recital at preschool a while ago. It was absolutely adorable. Saige managed to at least play the part as best she could, animating every song with her arms in the appropriate way (Christmas tree, sleeping, etc.) and sang everything, but Darcy only sang half of one song and then just stood there. It could not have been a better demonstration of their different personalities. Darcy could really care less about performing for anyone for any reason.

Unfortunately I was so pissed off at the husband at the time that I forgot to bring a camera of any kind. In fact, I was so mad that I refused to even sit next to him, and parked myself in the row behind, standing.

Might as well explain what that’s about and here it is: we’re in marriage counseling. There are about three or four issues all intertwined that are giving us trouble and I will give you a little whiff of the dirt but that’s about all I can stand before my delete finger gets itchy. (I wrote a long, ugly post about it about ten days ago and never posted it). One of the little issues might have something to do with those extra ten pounds I’m carrying. I will say this, I’m pretty tall and no one would actually say I look overweight, it’s just a little more than I have been in the past and a little more than I would like. Which is why I’ve been going to the gym. But it bugs someone ELSE here even more than it bugs me. Which is not particularly motivational, you know? I think the fear is that I’m at the top of the slide to Hippoland, which I have assured him, I am not. But still, he is…uncomfortable. And supposedly worried about my health. Anyway it didn’t come on overnight, so it’s not going to come off overnight.

We both agree that our communication skills could probably use some polishing up, and I’m personally of the opinion that having kids (twins, no less) put an extra strain on our marriage that has made it harder to deal with old issues we could previously sort out quicker. Hashing things out until 3 in the morning is no longer possible.

Last week we ended up having to bring the girls to our weekly session. Wasn’t that an interesting look on the shrink’s face when we showed up! Our babysitter was sick, and neither of us felt like bailing, so we just hauled them with us and hoped for the best. They were perfect angels for 90 solid minutes, just sitting out in the waiting room reading books and drawing. We couldn’t believe it.

My parents were here for a few days around Christmas. My stepfather spent the majority of the time with his nose in his laptop and then he got some kind of food poisoning or something (no, not my cooking–I don’t even try, remember?). Mom wanted to go shopping as usual, so we did, even though I am so broke right it’s not even funny. We brought one twin with us. Darcy had no interest in seeing the sights of San Luis and decided to stay home and draw. I must say, it’s a whole different experience going shopping with ONE child. The ONE child is MUCH quieter, enjoys the singular attention, and hallelujah the single stroller actually fits in every door and aisle without the slightest struggle. It was a breeze.

The girls were not nearly as excited as I thought they would be on Christmas morning…they “get” Christmas more than they did last year (which was really not at all), but I guess it will be another year or two before the real hopping up and down starts. Santa got them each one of these, which they like very much. They are very helpful for avoiding unnecessary medicine doses when they complain they have a tummy hurt, which mysteriously seems to occur when it’s time to go to sleep. I warm them up for a couple of minutes in the microwave and all complaining stops.

I accidentally trapped a cat in the RV last week. Bruce had left it open most of the day and finally in the late afternoon I walked by and shut it, thinking if I didn’t he would probably forget and leave it open all night (it’s happened before). The next afternoon I went to put in a new calendar and what do I see but a large pile of turds as soon as I open the door. I shut it and went to go get Bruce to share this lovely surprise with him. When we came back and went in, we heard mewing coming from the top of his bed. “Nilla cat” (as the twins call our neighbor’s outdoor kitty), had settled his brain for a long winter’s nap in Bruce’s sleeping quarters. He quickly exited when he saw the door open. Praise God we only had some dry turds to contend with, and no cat piss. This is the same cat that fights regularly with two or three others in the neighborhood, usually at 3am, right under our bedroom window.

Lastly, I have finally decided to get rid of most of my wiccan stuff. I haven’t been into it in at least four or five years, and to be totally honest, I don’t think it was for me. In the end, I just couldn’t handle the rituals. Catholics are actually some of the easiest converts to paganism because they’re used to that kind of stuff. But my father was an atheist, and I never went to church even once growing up. So chanting and spreading sea salt around and trying to do spells just seemed weird and never came naturally. Plus there was always the fear of fucking up spells somehow and creating some kind of Monkey’s Paw situation, so I never started a Book of Shadows. What did feel right was the reverence for nature, and the understanding about light and energy (a song by Single Gun Theory* says it well: “Energy never dies; it just changes form”). Which I read about fifteen years ago in here. That makes sense to me. But that’s about as far as I go with it. I have been investigating Buddhism, and so far, it seems to be a far better fit all the way around. I recently read a book called Buddhism for Mothers, and I can’t recommend it enough (the author’s husband is an atheist, by the way). It is easily as useful or more useful than any of the twin parenting or Supernanny books I’ve read.

So! My New Year’s Resolutions are quite boring: to lose a few pounds, don’t kill my husband, learn more about Buddhism and try to save up for a certain camera I’ve been eyeing. And no more trapping cats in the RV…unless the husband bugs me about what I’m eating again, in which case I may invite two or three in.

* Go here for samples

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Okay, here’s your dose of time-wasters
The funniest condom ad I’ve ever seen - childless couples, take note
Turn your kid into an engineer with this toy
“Iraq is like…”
Maybe you were just destined to be a sucky driver