It’s still early yet, but maybe you’re the sort that likes to get a jump on things when it comes to holiday shopping. Or maybe you’ve decided that this year, you will NOT be standing in endless lines at the mall, you’re going to use the ‘ol mouse clicker.

I am therefore delighted to bring you the SLOlane holiday shopping guide, featuring something for everyone. If your friends don’t like this stuff then they probably weren’t really your friends anyway. Ha! So here we go:

Men of Mortuaries Calendar ($15)
I dig ‘em.

Burt’s Bees - Soap Bark & Chamomile Deep Cleansing Cream ($8)

This stuff is amazing. Probably best for oily skin, this is the first cleanser I’ve tried in years that does exactly what it’s supposed to: clean, not strip or leave a greasy film.

3-D Cat Cards ($?)

USB 4-Port HUB & Coffee Warmer ($15)
Talk about useful.

Rody Horse ($40)

They have them in every color, too.

Hello Kitty Blank CDs ($15)
Why? I dunno. They have DVDs too.

Voice Transformer ($18)
You’ll be sorry. But your kid will be happy.

For the liberals on your list: Hell in a Handbasket ($6)

Decaf Black Tea Sampler ($11) or Holiday Breakfast Blend Tea ($12)

Monster Stockings ($50)

If you’re the crafty type:
An ipod carrier made from a book