Well, almost. Still on IC drugs but I ditched the Paxil because I got too freaked about all the side effects. The fatigue and brain-zapping is bad enough, but reading this article over at Salon finally did it for me. It all seemed like a lot to pay just to deal with a little nervousness now and then.

I briefly looked around for alternatives, but all of them have a tendency to make you tired, kill your sex life, give you three heads, etc. None of them looked very nice, and there’s a high rate of disagreement about ones like Paxil (not to mention lawsuits). The more I read, the louder this song played in my head.

I am mostly sleeping okay without it. I debated whether or not to pop one last pill this week, though. This week we tried a fresh attempt at taking the girls to preschool. You may remember last time we tried this it…didn’t go so well. The girls hated everything about it really and it was a miserable experience for everyone. (This was sometime in their 2’s—can’t exactly remember when). So the night before the big day I was up until 2am fretting about all the possible hysterics the next day, and was only able to shut the brain spazz off by downing some Xanax. But it went okay. Darcy was more nervous than Saige, but there was no melodrama like last time.

It occurred to me that maybe my sanity comes not in a pill, but in a little peace and quiet for three hours twice a week.