RIP, Happy Hour
Before I catch up on the exciting, absolutely thrilling world of my medical problems and whatnot, I wanted to share this wonderful post by Melissa:
You know, I’ve been angry with the internet a lot of times since I started this website. But I’ve never wanted to punch the internet as much as I did following this post by Sarah Gilbert at the Baby Flog.
Sarah was discussing the simple things she missed about her pre-kid life. Things like sleeping in, spur of the moment travel, stopping at the market for just two things. This, according to far too many of the 107 commenters, means she wants to give away her kids just so she can enjoy after work happy hour.
You see the connection don’t you?
Right.
PUNCH.
You can read more of her rant here.
I couldn’t agree more. I am so sick of these parents that act like life doesn’t begin until you have kids, that parenthood is the easiest thing in the world. Thank you for reminding me why registering for BlogHer is worth EVERY PENNY.
Warning: another one of my wordy posts! I think several things go on with those kinds of negative posts. First, sadly I think there are some people for whom parenthood does come easier, possibly the same people, who as kids took to the hula hoop without a struggle, and thinks that everyone who has a problem with it must be a real dork. But, as in marriage the pain of adjustment to parenthood has nothing to do with the level of love, or I believe the ultimate success of the relationship. Second, and probably more predominantly, I think there is a group of people for whom any mention of negative feelings towards kids is
just too scary. To admit that having someone
barf on your shoes is less than peachy, or that the spirtual benefits of 300 consecutive nights of lost sleep are not obvious when you are in the middle of them, would open them up to a host of very icky feelings. Its easier to criticize a stranger’s parenting than to deal with ambivilance. It also links up to the tiresome popularity of all- or nothing thinking in our society . You either love kids or you hate ‘em,your’e either with us or with the.. well you know. Certainly ambivilant feelings about the responsibilities of parenthood are as old as human history-at least that’s what I hear in “Rock-a-Bye Baby” but equally as old is a societal impulse of “don’t go there”-the bad parents in fairy tales are usually disguised as witches or step-parents. So the parents who go public on the internet with their very genuine and human struggles may really set off something pretty threatening feelings. Finally I think these “don’t complain”posts are like the “yer spoiled or yer a bad mom” posts from stay at home moms to outside career moms, and vice versa, and of course from everyone to pampered work-at-home moms like myself. It’s a sad way to feel better about whatever situation you have if you can point out the moral inferiority of someone else’s.