Comments on: Fear Factor

By: Twinmama

Twinmama — Thu, 17 Mar 2005 13:50:38 +0000

These are heartening comments to read, as literally everything I have heard up to this point has been pro-preschool cheerleading, and I was beginning to wonder if it was some kind of new social sin NOT to put your kids in preschool/daycare. It would be nice to lessen the shock of kindergarten, but if the negatives outweigh the positives (or it eats all my earnings), why bother? The girls are somewhat familiar with the concept of random meanness already, anyway…you should see the fun they have in getting a rise out of the other twin.

If we are able to do this and if the twins are cool with it, great…but if they start getting sick a LOT, that’s going to be it. This is one item that has been truly adding to my hesitation about all the “socialization” hubub. I can’t run this ship by myself if the girls and I are fucked up all the time. I just can’t. Sometimes I feel like I can barely do it when I’m perfectly healthy.

Anne: I loved your remark about anti-socialization skills. It’s really too bad we’re not neighbors so we could be anti-social together (but that would be socializing, wouldn’t it?).

By: emdot

emdot — Thu, 17 Mar 2005 11:22:19 +0000

i admire the way you are approaching the preschool thing, slolane. everyone’s got their own pace… they are lucky to have such sensitive parents. ;)

By: moe

moe — Wed, 16 Mar 2005 10:31:00 +0000

they’re being socialized all the time, and they’re doing great! Pre-school can make already nervous kids more so if it’s not the right setup. It wasn’t for my older one, that’s for sure. I got so sick of hearing people gently tell me there was something wrong with him socially. he IS different and I love him for it. the twins have cute offbeat personalities too - and you already said, you’re sort of a weirdo yourself!

my younger son did preschool, but he had some rough days. in the end i’d say it was good for him, but if it had been any more difficult than it was, I woulda yanked him out without looking back.

you’ll know what to do based on their behavior, because you’re that type of mom. the idea of some stupid institution ‘fixing’ their quirkly personalities sort of breaks my heart. good thing you and bruce would never let that happen.

breaks are a good idea since you’re with them every waking minute. there has to be a program out there that you feel good about, and that will let them grow in their own time.

By: experimental music

experimental music — Wed, 16 Mar 2005 10:26:45 +0000

I just got a flat panel too. Love it!

By: Leigh

Leigh — Wed, 16 Mar 2005 10:08:44 +0000

Ya know….there are many times when I want to cry and hide around strangers, and I’m 24 :P Minnesota strangers…extra scary!

By: Rob

Rob — Wed, 16 Mar 2005 00:20:13 +0000

Every day is better for socialisation purposes. Because when they’re that young, even a weekend is a long time, and you can forget you enjoyed it last time and get “first day” nerves all over again. When I was studying for my PhD, we took CJ in for afternoons so I could go onto campus etc., and Didi has always done 4 days per week, of necessity. They’ve both gone through phases of being scared of random things; then when they’re older the power of imagination takes over and they invent stuff to be scared of. Someone told CJ about the “Bloody Tower” of London the other day, and she was sobbing about it at bedtime. It’s hard to explain to a 7 year old that it’s “just marketing”!

By: Ally

Ally — Tue, 15 Mar 2005 16:28:03 +0000

On the Day Care thing: See if they have an “after-school” rate, usually from 3-5 p.m., roughly $50/wk. each.

Actually, I only know that because we looked into it for John Sage when we were concerned about his socialization skills.

Ultimately we decided not to do it, because we were more concerned with anti-socialization skills. :)

School has been an enormous adjustment for him, largely because he was enormously shocked that people are mean.